The Sister I Never Had – Part 17

Chubby

“How could you? Are you out of your mind? You think you are the Prince Of Peace and only you can help others. And asking help from your girlfriend….. ”
“What????”
“Shut Up. I mean asking help from your friend who is a girl is against your rule book, right?” I mean look at this guy. With this fractured hand and 101 fever. Smiling at me with those puppy eyes. What the hell does he think of himself?

“Hey Samir, ask your girlfriend to calm down a bit? And lower your voice Miss, your boyfriend got a job. We still have to study.”

Continue reading “The Sister I Never Had – Part 17”

I am sorry – Short Story

A short story by Yoga and Mitushi

“Jeeva! Wait…”, Hema hurried to the living room.

“What ma?”, Jeeva stopped in her tracks.

“Please drop Nila in his school”

“Mom”, Jeeva said with a sigh.

“Please beta! He has a competition today. Our autodriver hasn’t come yet. He’s not picking up calls too.”, her mom pleaded.

“I’ll book a cab”, Jeeva pulled out her phone from her handbag.

“No!”, her mom put her hand over Jeeva’s phone. “It’s already time. Please. He’s your younger brother. Can’t you do this simple-”

Continue reading “I am sorry – Short Story”

The Sister I Never Had – Part 16

Chutki

I tell her that I need to talk to her about something and request her to not to get angry. I could imagine her mentally screaming ‘What more bad news has this girl got?”
“Don’t worry. It’s nothing bad.”

I heard a loud relieved sigh from the other end.

“I need a help.”

“Help?”, she sounded perplexed as if I asked her whether there was water on Mars.

“I want to talk to your mom.”, I said.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you properly. Come again”

“I. want. to. speak. to. your. Mom”

“Are you serious? I hope you’re sane. I don’t understand you right now”, she starts shouting.

“You don’t have to. Just give her the phone”, I say firmly.

After few seconds, Chubby’s mother comes on line. There is this uncomfortable silence prevailing between us. With much difficulty, I break the ice by saying, “Aunty, are you on the line?” to which she replies with a “Hmmm”. I feel glad that she is not talking much. It would be hard for me if she talks well. I just want her to listen to me and then if it’s not much, I hope she agrees to it.

“I am sorry I came back and caused a chaos there”, I begin. Without acknowledging or discouraging my statement, she says that she is glad that my book is doing well and she was about to say she was proud of me but then stopped while pronouncing the word ‘proud’. It was a bit of a relief that she didn’t hate my visit. I don’t know whether she was really happy about my book or just pretended to be but I am glad that she could at least ‘pretend’ to be happy.

“Thank you”, I pause for few seconds before I continue, “I need a favour from you. I know I am not your real daughter and I have no rights to ask you this but“

“Tell me beta. What should I do?”, she says and a tear tries to come out of my eyes after which my mind warns that she was responsible for all the mess. But then the better part of me overrides that thought and tells me that she isn’t responsible for all the problems. She just wanted me to be away from Chubby. It was my decision to leave Jhanakpur and stay with Biba for few days. It was my situation that I couldn’t come back all these years. I am responsible for my life and the chaos in it. I shouldn’t blame her for it. How could she know just trying to keep two childhood friends apart a little would result in a high-voltage drama like this?

“Beta”, she says again.

“I want you to talk to Chubby’s father. Please, I know it’s difficult for you. I want him to know it’s not Chubby’s fault. I can’t go on with my life peacefully unless this gets sorted out. I know we shouldn’t talk about the dead but I want him to know that Bua had a hand in this. I want him to forgive Chubby.”

I can feel my voice going creaky when I say, “Please, can you do this for me? Ummm… I mean for Chubby.”

She doesn’t speak for few seconds.

“Bye beta”, she tells me before hanging up.

I sit on the bed and rub my face in anguish. Was I wrong in talking to her about this now? But I can’t go to New York with this baggage on my shoulders. I know things can’t get resolved in a day. 3 years worth of mess. It would take time to clean. But I at the least wanted only an assurance; an assurance that things would get better and efforts were made.

“Don’t worry”, Karthik puts his hand on my shoulder. “She would take care of it”

“But she didn’t say anything”, I whimpered.

“You believe me, right? Believe my words. She would”

“You don’t even know what or how she talked to me. How are you saying all these things?”

“Why do I need to hear everything? Somethings are understood without saying. I can see it in your eyes.”, he says smiling like a Cheshire cat and sits besides me almost wrapping his around me before he sees the clock on the wall. “Oh No! You should be at Airport in 20 minutes. Get up”, he shrieks.

Chubby

“Miss Chandni. We have admitted her in the emergency room as of now. She fainted because of hypotension.” Those words were like a slap on my face. You can’t even take care of your Mom Chubby.
I gathered myself and the words came out in a whisper “Will she be fine, doctor? I… She…she was so cold when i touched her.. I…is she fine?”
“Yes she is. She was underoxygenated to be more precise. That is why the cold hands. We will have to run some tests. Usually we don’t keep patients here for a problem like low BP. But then i suggest we should just go through a full body checkup. I hope you won’t mind?”
Samir knows I am not in a condition to speak. So he conversed with the doctor “Of course not. Please do whatever you want to. Just please take care of her.”
“Yes. She will be fine. We are just transfusing dextose to her. And then you can meet her. Wait here.”
Thank God. The moment I saw Mom lying their on the stairs, I could feel my whole world collapsing. It was all so sudden. I am so glad that Samir was there with me otherwise…..
When I saw my Mom’s pale face and touched her cold hands, my own soul ebbed away from my body and I stood their like a statue. I was just crying the whole time we were in the cab. My mom was trying to speak. She was trying to say sorry and everytime she said that I felt as my heart is being stabbed again and again. I am the worst daughter in this world. I was choking with my own tears of embarrassment and terror of losing her. Just then I came back to reality and saw Samir completing the hospital formality. We sat in the waiting room.
“Hey Chandni…. she is fine. You.…will you stop crying?”
I hate crying. All these years when Chutki was away, I never cried. I hardly shed a tear. Except the day when Dad accused me for being the reason for Bua’s death. And now I have turned into that moaner again. “I am not crying.”
“Oh you are shedding pearls from your eyes..I see! Shall I be collecting them?”
“I could have lost her. 60/40. Seriously, that was her blood pressure!!! I was so much into myself, I never gave it a thought about how much stressed she might be! You know I hate hospitals. And I cannot even bear the thought of my mother inside that room. On that filthy bed.…….I was being so selfish Samir. I was just thinking about me and how I was wronged by my Mom. When the truth is I have only let down everyone in my life. My dad, Chutki, Baba and now Maa.” And then I saw Samir’s face working. He looked at me disappointedly. And then stood up and left the waiting room without saying a word. All that happened in mere seconds and I couldn’t comprehend why exactly he left? I was already so exhausted. Just then I thought about Samir and how in a way I have let down him too! He has always been there for me. Tolerated all my tantrums but still helped me in every way he could. And I, in return, have never even hugged him back. I am a lost case. I am just prone to problems and I give an exaggerated response to every damn thing and by the time I realize how effed up I am it’s always too late.

Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t realized Samir is standing over me. I looked up and he was still carrying that look on his face. “They said you can meet Aunty Ji.” I don’t even know if I want to meet her or not. Can I face her? She must be so wistful right now. “Are you listening Chandni? You can blame yourself later!” Samir IS disappointed. He is definitely hot under the collar. What have I done now? Aughh.
“Samir..??? Are you… Alright?” He nods his head….DISAPPOINTEDLY! “Do you want to go home? You can if you want to. I think you…. ”
“Do you want me to g… ?”
“Ofcourse NOT. ” I didn’t even allow him to complete the question. I swear he was just about to smile after hearing my mendicant answer. But then he just said “You Are So Messed Up Chandni.” And I couldn’t agree more.

Chutki

New York! Uff… This city feels beautiful even from inside a hotel room. New York Library Public Library! I can’t wait to go there. My guide for this trip, Mr. Arjun has agreed to take me there. I just have to call Chubby and make sure she’s fine so that I could be at peace in the library.

Out of the habit that I developed since yesterday night, I call Chubby and as usual, no one picks it. Every time I convince myself that it must be night for them, it must be early morning, it must be lunch time or whatever time that could be used as an excuse for not attending phone calls though I feel otherwise. I fear a fight at Chubby’s home. What if her mom and dad had a fight because of Chubby’s mom revealing the truth? I shouldn’t have asked her through phone. I should have talked to her about face to face. I asked Karthik to check on Chubby but what’s the use. No one was picking calls. He would receive the same empty response if he called.

The phone rings and it’s him.

“Karthik! Did you speak to Chubby? Everything’s fine, right?”, I am dying to hear him say ‘yes’.

“Hmm. First tell me how did the launch go?”

“Yes, it was great. I would have almost embarrassed myself before the press but thankfully Arjun came to my rescue”, as I continue to talk excitedly, something in me reminds me that I was asking him about something worriedly and I stop in guilt for being distracted.

“Chandrika?”, he says. I know that voice. Something is definitely wrong. What is it?

“Don’t beat around the bush! Tell me what’s the matter. Chubby is fine na?”

“She’s fine but…”

‘But’. This word is a dangerous word. It doesn’t let you experience experience any emotion wholeheartedly be it happiness or sadness.

“Please tell me Karthik. What happened?”, I beg him.

“Chandni’s mom is not well. Actually it’s not a serious problem. She’ll be discharged tomorrow. It’s just-”

My heart twists hearing this. Wasn’t she fine two days ago?

“Discharged?? She’s admitted to the hospital? What happened to her?”

“Now don’t panic. She just fainted due to stress. Chandni said that they want to be on the safer side so they’re doing a master checkup for her. She’s alright now.”

It relaxes me a little.

“When did this happen? Is this because she talked to Chubby’s father? Did they have a fight?”

“Chandni’s father was out of station. He wasn’t there when I talked yesterday, but Chubby said he was on his way. He must be there by now. I don’t know he knows anything about you Chandrika”

“If the truth is not the problem, what else could be the problem? Why did she faint? Does she have any health problem?”

“I wouldn’t have told you if I had known you’ll bombard me with questions.”, he says with a stupid sigh. I. Just. Can’t. Understand. This. Guy.

“Can’t you be serious now?”, I ask him.

“Why? Do you want me to be admitted in hospital?”

“Mr.Karthik Varma”, I say in frustration.

“Ms.Chandrika Iyer”, he mimics me.

I put the receiver in its place.

After few seconds, the phone rings. It must be him. I attend the call. It’s him.

“Won’t you talk anything? Why are you making me pay for hear your silence? You know how much it costs a minute for an international call?”, he continues.

I remain silent.

“You’re so stubborn”, he sighs.

“It happened day before yesterday”, he says in a low voice.

“Day before yesterday? That means it happened before I came here! Why didn’t you tell me?”, I say in disbelief.

“Okay, let me explain. 1) You were in the plane when I called Chandni to inform about you boarding the flight and that’s when she told me about this. 2) Yesterday was an important day to you. I didn’t want you to be crying in the launch event. 3) It’s a big event and there would have been photographers-”

I hung up again. He called again.

“You’re irritating me.”, he says.

“So are you”, I reply.

“I didn’t want you to be tensed. It’s a milestone in your life. I didn’t want you to mess it up. You don’t know what you do when you’re emotional. What if you ran away from the event? I didn’t want that. Chandni also felt the same.”, he says in an apologetic tone.

“Thanks. I’ll talk to you later”, I say in a breaking voice.

“Are you crying?”

“NO! I am jumping in excitement!”, I shout.

“Why are you being emotional now? It’s not like something serious happened-”

“Nothing serious happened? Really? Her mother was admitted in hospital. You’re saying nothing serious happened. She fainted because of ME! Because of me asking her to talk to Chubby’s father about Chubby. IT’S BECAUSE OF ME. I shouldn’t have went there.”

“Don’t start now!!”

“Yes, I won’t talk. Or else my bad luck will rub off on you too like it did with my parents, Chubby and her mother.”

“WILL YOU STOP THIS NONSENSE?”, he shouts in a voice that makes me still.

“Everything is not about you. Okay? Chubby’s mother is not well. It has nothing to do with you. You didn’t know she would get sick. Did you? If you still feel responsible, take responsibility for your actions. Don’t put it on your bad luck. Your bad luck didn’t stop you from working. It didn’t stop you from writing a book. It didn’t stop you from going from New York. Bad luck is not an excuse.”

“Okay”, my stomach shifts uneasily.

I can’t see him but I could feel that he’s rather surprised at my reaction. He might have expected me to shout at him or cut the call. I guess that’s why he could be my friend even after knowing everything about me. He knows all my flaws and yet doesn’t despise me. It’s because he doesn’t have high expectations from me. He is always prepared for the worst when it comes to me. Why don’t people expect from me? Maybe Chubby is the only person who does.

I sit on the chair by the balcony and close my eyes.

“Please be fine. I haven’t told you this but every time you said you wish I were your daughter, I wished you were my mother, Chubby was my sister and I was a part of the family. I wish you had known that, if you had told me to stay away from Chubby, I would have done it happily. For you. For Chubby. If you had thought that was good for her, I would have happily obliged. But I know why you didn’t. I always looked like an immature crazy girl. I have always called you ‘Aunty’ but for once, I want to be honest with this. I want to know how it feels to say the word. With the hope that you don’t mind me calling you ‘Maa’, I am saying this. Maa, I owe you my life. I owe you a lot for bringing Chubby into my life. For bringing Baba into my life. For showing me what a mother and father could do for their child. For showing me what a family is. For bringing up Chubby as the wonderful she is. The last time I prayed to God was when Biba died and I was praying that God would give her life again. It didn’t happen. Please don’t make me think that God doesn’t hear my prayers. Please be fine. For Chubby. For her father. For Me. I can’t lose another loved one. If you want, I would even promise that I would never interfere in your life again. I won’t contact Chubby. I would go to a place somewhere where no one can find me. This time, I’ll make Chubby understand that it’s good I leave. I won’t tell Chubby’s father anything nor would ask you to tell him anything. I would make sure Chubby doesn’t tell anything too. Anything you ask! Anything for you to be alright. Please. I need you for Chubby. Please.”

I should go to India soon. It’s already late. I wish tomorrow comes sooner. Chubby, I hope you’re fine. Why is it always that I am the reason for your pain? I am terrible friend. I am a very terrible friend. You deserve better.

Chubby

“Mom, I won’t listen to you this time. Your soup is ready. Drink it.”
“But….”
“It is bitter. Yes I know. But I have tried my best to make it tastier than the last time. And please. No more arguments.”
“huhhh. Okay. Fine.”
When I see my Mom, sitting here on the bed, peacefully-with all her love and little bit of annoyance-I swear I feel so exempted from the guilt of the scene that passes over me every now and then. Pale face, cold hands. My God! That was so terrifying.
“You are again thinking about the accident Chubby, aren’t you?” I am so effing transparent. No wonder how these people always know what I am thinking.
“Yes I am Mom. You scared the hell out of me that day.”
“I am sorry. And no, I am not saying sorry for the accident.” I know where this is going. I was avoiding the conversation. We brought Mom home yesterday morning. She was unconscious for most of the time because of the sedatives. She was willing to do the conversation last night but I diverted the topic to the days when I used to get sick and mom used to make those bitter kaadhas for me. I still remember that big proud smile on her face from yesterday when she said ‘Those kaadhas always worked on you chipkali’. “Are you listening Chubby? Where do you always go? Samir was right about you. You are a day dreamer.”
“Mom, you don’t have to say sorry.… Well yes you should be sorry. But I am sorry too. But no. I don’t want to be sorry and I don’t want you to be sorry….Ughhh.. Can we just not talk about it Mom?” And there from far away my tears are waving their hands. Stay there you bitches.

“Chubby, do you know why you got this name?”

Yes I know. I hear it everytime, when I am on the verge of crying. “No I don’t know.” But I love hearing it from you.

“Because when you are too angry or too sad or too happy or too excited or…..”
“Okay Mom I got it.”
“Right, so your cheeks flushes and you look chubby. And you are always overwhelmed with some kind of emotion. Hence, Chubby.”
“Wow, that’s interesting.” Not.
“I know what I have done cannot be undone by a sorry.. But… ”
“I hate this word sorry. Bandaids can never fix bullet holes. Neither can sorry bring back a dead person or furbish up all the broken dreams. Nor can it undo the past two days of your life. And all the stress you were dealing with. I can never understand why we use sorry.”
“…………”
“I am sorry, i didn’t meant to be rude.”
“But you hate the word sorry. Now why are you using it.”
“Because I know I was being rude and stupid.”
“That’s it. There is your answer. I was also being selfish Chubby. And No I don’t want you to forgive me for what I have done. Because I am a mother, and I very well know that even though I was being selfish, my intentions were not bad. What I did was definitely the worse way to deal with the situation. But I don’t want you to blame yourself for anything that happend.” I stare at her for a while. Trying to soak in whatever she is saying. It is too much. Too much for me. “I told your dad the whole truth the very next day Bua died.”
“Whattt???? But.. He wasn’t…he was still avoiding me.. ” No wait… He wasn’t only avoiding me. He was avoiding Mom too. Our conversations weren’t as normal as it used to be. But he wasn’t ignoring me like he used to do when Bua was alive. “Momm, why did you even listened to Bua? You could have directly talked to Chutki and me.”
“I know beta, I know.. I wasn’t in my senses. One day when I was seeing your report card-you got terrible marks that year-your bua came and just filled me with nonsense and I being the selfish mother agreed with her. I am so sorry.” I don’t know what to say. I am not blind to not see the terrible guilt on her face and her tears. Whatever happened was wrong, I wasn’t there with Chutki in her struggles and she wasn’t there with me. But now we have sorted out everything. All the misunderstandings and fights and scars are bygone now. If I will stay angry with Mom, I will be clinging to the past and I have to let it go.

“It’s okay Mom. It’s fine. Let’s forget it. Everything is good now. I have got a job. Chutki is a successful writer now. Sami…..Everybody is fine. Now please rest your mind and body and soul and whatever. We are good. Okay? ”
“Okay. I love it when you act like my mother.”
“You mean Nani? Awww I miss her now. But we should call baba. Let’s plan a dinner tomorrow. Chutki will come tomorrow morning. And you can call if you want someone. I will do all the preparations. Once my job will start, I won’t be getting much time.” Why is she staring at me like that!!
“What about Samir, call him too!”
Samir…. He hasn’t called me since he left yesterday. The last conversation we had was in the waiting room. And then he left the hospital. Came back yesterday morning, picked us and then…..
“Mom, did he asked or said something while leaving yesterday? I remember I was in the kitchen and you two were talking.”
“Yes, he asked to call him if we need something.……”
What even! I should call him when I need something. What does he think of me?
“I am calling him.” Why is she tensed?
“Mom, I hope you don’t have problem with that.”
“Ofcourse not. I am just tensed because..…i am just afraid. I don’t want you to…..be alone you know.”
“I am 21 only. I can stay alone till 40.”
“Ahhh.…” Oh god Mom.. What happened now? “You hurt.” Such a drama queen.

Let me call Samir. I don’t even know the reason behind his gloomy eyes and disappointed face.
“Hello, Give the phone to Samir.”
“What?” What are you doing Chubby? He is not a prime minister.
“Can I talk to Samir please? You must be his room partner.”
“But he has left the hostel…he must be in Pune right now.” Whattttt.. What is…Noo.. Not again. I….”Give me the phone, who are you talking to? Hello Samir speaking…”
“…….” What the hell??? Who does that kind of horrific prank? I am gonna strangle that guy and I am gonna fry him in hot oil and….
“Hello?? Chandni? Is everything alright.”
“Your friend is a dork. Do you hear that?” he is laughing and I am just cold here.
“Whyy would you say that?”
“Are you alright?”
“Yes but why are you asking?”
“Because you were not in the hospital.” Gone silent again. I am sure he is standing there with the same You-Are-Impossible look. “Are you leaving for Pune?” I can no more hide my disappointment.
“Do you want me to?”
“Do you want to?”
“Oh so are we playing the question game again?”
“Do you think so?”
“Will you stop flirting with me?”
“I am not flirting…” God I lost again. “Stop laughing. We have dinner tomorrow night. My mom invited you.”
“I…. Won’t be able to come.”
“But why? ”
“Because.…….” What!!!!!

The Sister I Never Had – Part 15

Chutki

Chubby is almost at the verge of exploding. Her mother starts talking as we look at her
“I am sorry Beta. I shouldn’t have listened to your Bua. But I did. I did everything for your good. I thought your friendship with Chutki isn’t good for you. I thought she’s a unlucky child and she might…”
“Unlucky child? She was your sweetheart. Haven’t you said that she could have been your daughter? Nothing makes sense to me. What did you do Ma?”, Chubby shouts in tears. I can see what would have happened. I can see it in front of my eyes how Bua would have corrupted Chubby’s mother’s mind. I have heard it several times by several people. How my parents lost their wealth after I was born! How they died because of my luck! This was the reason why Biba didn’t like talking about her village to me. She wanted it’s existence to be away from my mind. This was why she admitted me at the Aashram when I was just 3. She didn’t want my mind to be filled with negative thoughts that people create. She often said what others say don’t matter but if you believe you’re unlucky or bad, then no one can help you. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe it was my luck that killed her too.

“Don’t let negative thoughts get into your mind. Remember you are loved. Remember you are a good person. Remember there are people who smile when they see you smile.”

I hear Karthik’s words out of nowhere and snap back to reality. My eyes involuntarily search for Chubby but she’s not in the room.

Oh no! Chubby is walking out. Her ankle is twisted and she’s walking so fast. I have to stop her. I stop at the door for a second to turn and tell Chubby’s mother not to worry. I assure her I’ll bring Chubby back.
“CHUBBY!!”, I shout but she carries on limping down the street. I chase her and catch her hand.
“Stop it Chubby! I can’t run anymore”, I say panting.
“Leave me alone”, she says sobbing and breaks free of my hand.
“So. That youu ccan blame me for leaving you”, I try so much to resist myself from crying.
“JUST LEAVE ME ALONE”
“Your ankle is twisted. You can’t even walk properly. Stop this Chubby”
“WHY DO YOU CARE? You didn’t care all these days. Go back to Mumbai. Go back to writing books. Go back to your life”
“My life is here Chubby. You’re my family. You’re my sister. You-“, I hold both her hands.
“No, I am not. I don’t have a family. I don’t have anyone.”
“Please don’t do this to yourself Chubby”, I say in tears and she breaks down. She kneels down on the pavement.
As I kneel down and hug her, I hear her saying, “Why does everyone around me do this? Why does everyone I love break my heart?”
Tears start rolling down my eyes.
“I am sorry Chubby. I should have known you wouldn’t think like that about me. I should have trusted you. I am really sorry. I didn’t think that your mother could lie. I am sorry.”, we both cry.
Regret fills my heart. I was holding Chubby responsible and was angry with her for something that she had no idea of.

Chubby

All this would have never happened if Chutki trusted me. But then how do I know what she was going through? But then why didn’t she confronted me? God kill me please. My mom and my Bua took a decision for me. No…My Bua took a decision for me and fired the gun from my mother’s shoulder. I am sure she is smirking down at me from there. The sky is so beautiful and I cannot believe someone like her is up there. “Areeee you happyyy Buaaaa??? See, I hate myself. And I hate you. But I cannot hate my Mom. I hate what she did. But you Bua, I don’t even know your name. You destroyed three years of my life and took away a part of me. You took the part which was capable of trusting others, which was calm, which knew what is right or wrong.” Right now this is the only place where I can gain my sanity. If I go home, I will have to face Mom. And I will. But before soaking some fresh air. I need to compose myself. Chutki must have reached Hapur by now. After crying like idiots on the middle of the road, I asked her to leave. She wasn’t ready to go but I forced her. I told her that she has finally got a fair chance to prove that she is not unlucky. Her parents death and Biba’s death was not her fault. How can it be her fault? How can Mom even think that? How did she got brainwashed by that woman to this extent? I am still pissed off with Chutki. I rode my bike for 23 minutes for god’s sake, when she was leaving. My legs still wobbles when I think about the pain I suffered for almost a week after that. I remember asking Chutki over and over what’s wrong but she was so in a hurry. Those awful months after that. I felt like I lost my sister. God when I remember those three months, it still hurts. Dad was treating me like a criminal, he is still upset. Mom was avoiding me the whole time. Now I realize why! Baba was in the ICU for a month. It was Samir who never left my side. I pushed him away so many times in those three months but yet he stayed with me. I wonder how difficult everything was with Chutki. Especially after Biba died. I need to go back to my home. I forgot I have to call Kartik.

“Chubby, beta please listen to me. I thought you are not coming home today. You need to understand why I did all that.”
“Seriously?? and you call me your daughter. Just leave me alone for a while. I have to make a call.”
“You cannot talk to me like that. Do you understand that? And no. No calls. Talk to me first.”
“If you don’t want me to talk to you like this. Leave me alone. I feel disgusted Mom. I feel like a loser. I feel someone has just stabbed my heart and I can feel the knife is still there. Your words are just twisting that knife.”
“Chubbby, will you stop it???? Chubbyy waitt.”

Kartik asked me to inform him after Chutki leaves Jhanakpur. I am already late. I said i will call before six.
“Hello, is this Doctor Kartik speaking?”
“Yes, Miss Chandni?”
“Yeah, i just want to say that Chutki left for Delhi around 5. She must have crossed Hapur.” Did he just sigh the sigh of relief? Haha.
“Ohh greattt. Greattt.. I have my flight at 10 for Delhi. I even called you but nobody received the phone.” Aww poor lover boy. “I was waiting for your call.”
“I am sorry. Things got pretty..ummm.. messed up here. But she is on her way. Are you going there too?” What a stupid question? You know he is.
“Ummm yeah. I just want to… see her before she leaves. It’s a four days trip I guess.”
“Yeah. Umm.. Okay then I should hang up now.”
“Okay, thank you.”
“No problem. You got it buddy. All the best.”
“Han??” What the eff Chubby? Just ring off.

Okay time to face Mom.

“Chubby, open the door. Enough is enough. You slept yesterday without talking to me. Now open the door. I heard your alarm and I know you are there. You cannot treat me like that.” And a mother can treat her daughter in any way she prefers.
“Oh yeah mom. You ARE my mother. And nothing’s going to change that. Not even your hatred towards my best friend aka my sister aka your mouth bidding daughter who you always admired.” Or pretended to admire. Wait let’s just finish this. Let me see what explanation she wants to give. “Yess Mom. Come inside.”
“Chubby, you are just 21. You need to understand I would never do anything against you. And I am your mother. I have every right to decide what is right or wrong for you……..” What the hell! Is this her explanation! “….I wanted you to be successful and that……….” Seriously i don’t even want to listen her. “She wasn’t lucky for you.”
“ENOUGH MOM. How can you even….you say that…. Argh!!!!! How on earth was she unlucky for me? Chutki was the girl who was always struggling with her fate. She was trying so hard to fit in this unfair world. All on her own. We were her only family here. And she was like my sister, my best friend. How can she do any harm to me?”
“Listen to me Chutki……”
“And wait, what did you say? You have every right on me. Yes you do have Mom. You have all the world’s goddamned right on me. But the first thing, this wasn’t your decision. That old woman coaxed you. Second, if it was only me i wouldn’t have said a word. But Chutki, she was also involved in this. And you didn’t had any right on her life? How could you even do that to her? And you know what was the most ignoble thing you both did? You made me a baddie. Bua fired the gun from your shoulder and you happily killed both of our friendship of 12 years. 12 yea…..12 years maa..” These stupid tears. There… you got time Ma. Speak whatever you want now.
“Did you saw your grades at that time? Yes I always admired Chutki. But do you really think i was happy seeing you failing.”
“Failing?????? I never failed..Mom she was three years older. How were you even comparing her with me?”
“I don’t know anything. I just know she was diverting your mind.”
“From what? From Bua? I never tried to bandish her like you. Why did you people flattered her so much? And dad… you didn’t even tried reducing the gap between me and dad. He spent three years hating me for her death. Mom he talks to you everyday. Not once he asked about me.”
“That’s not true. Stop crying Chubby. What I did was best for both of you. You both are happy now.”
“Are you serious? You are so delusional. You pushed both of us into depression.”
“Stop exaggerating things.”
“……….you know what Mom….yes you are right. You were always right. Leave me alone. I agree with you.”

“Chandniiiii… ”
“What is Samir doing her Chubby? It is seven in the morning?”
“Oh do you have problem with him also?? Go and tell him that I pity him too because he is an orphan. Go!!!!”
“Stop it..where are all your manners??”
I am going outside. I don’t have energy for her. And the day has not even started yet.

“Hi Samir! How was everything in Pune? Settled?”
“No.. Ummm.. How are you? And wait…were you crying? Bloodshot eyes.” No ways I am telling him what happened. He will be like one day I was gone and here she is all disheveled. “Yes Chandni?”
“Sighhh.”
“Did you just said sigh??”
“Yeah sigh..Will you wait? I have to call Chutki.”
“Do I have any choice? Umm Namaste Aunty.”
“Namaste beta. Wait I will make some coffee for you.”
“Yes Mom please do so. You are so kind. Samir no one can take care of my friends like she does.” I am making Samir uncomfortable.

“Hello Chutki!!! How’s you? How was the trip? Are you safe? You must be tired.” Why is Samir laughing at me?
“Uf uf uf Chubby slow down. I am fine. Well the trip hasn’t started yet. But if you are asking about the ride from Jhanakpur to Delhi, it was smooth. Thanks to Shree bhai”.
“Well thanks to Samir for introducing me to him. Anyways, is Kartik there?”
“Yes he is.”
“So???”
“So???”
“Has he…umm..propo…”
“Shut up… you little magpie. Where is your hero?”
“Leave it. I need you to bring me souvenirs from their okay? And all the best.”
“Chubby… have you sorted out with aunty ji?”
“We will talk about it when you’ll return.”
“Chubby please. Don’t be so hard on yourself. It is my mistake. All of it.”
“No. None of it is your mistake. We can be sad, we will be sorry, but we won’t shoulder it. Because it wasn’t our mistake.”
“I need to tell you one more thing Chubby. Please don’t get angry on me.” What the hell!!!!

The Sister I Never Had – Part 14

CHUTKI

I don’t really understand why Chubby is reacting so fiercely. I was prepared for her not liking the book but her extreme reactions surprise me. Why is she mentioning herself as villain? She’s the main pillar of the story. Family is not people who share the same blood as you but the people who wouldn’t hesitate to shed their blood when you’re in danger.
Isn’t that how I ended the story?
What rubbish is she talking about?

“Why are you standing still? I am not going to let you leave this time before answering me.”, she shouts.

Continue reading “The Sister I Never Had – Part 14”

Yes You Do – By Mitz :)

He is sitting there staring out of the window. It is raining. And it is the kind of rain that makes you go silent. The rain which carries the sound of it’s own even in it’s stillness. I love that kind of rain. Where you feel cold. And that feeling makes you warm. The whole weather defines paradox in an absolutely unique way. And there he is staring out of the window. The restaurant was almost empty. But he hasn’t noticed me yet. I sat on the other end of the room where I can get a complete view of his peaceful structure sitting there. I do not want to disturb him.

Continue reading “Yes You Do – By Mitz :)”

I wait for you – Short Story

A short story by Yoga

She stopped cutting the apple and started examining the knife while holding the edges of the knife. She wasn’t thinking about anything particular. Sometimes she stops doing whatever she is doing and starts staring at any object that’s in her hand or at the vacant space ahead.

The sound of a flower vase falling broke her trance and she stood up from her chair in shock.

Continue reading “I wait for you – Short Story”

The Sister I Never Had – Part 13

CHUBBY
Hello, he is still here. In fact, he was just about to leave. Hold a second…” Thank God.
Hello!” Oh thank God it’s him!
Hey Samir, I am sorry to call you like this. But I really need your help.
What happened? Is everything alright? Where are you? I am comi…..”
Hold on man. Just listen. I am fine. I just need Shree’s number. We need to send Chutki to Delhi. Is he in town?” I hope he is.
Yes he is in town. Are you going too?”

“No I am not going. I will tell you the rest later. Aren’t you getting late? Just give me his number.”

Continue reading “The Sister I Never Had – Part 13”

The Sister I Never Had – Part 12

CHUTKI

My mind gets on overdrive as Chubby tells about Karthik calling her and my publisher wanting to publish my book in US. I know the company has been thinking of an initiative for which they were shortlisting new writers. But my book?
“Madam, would you stop playing statue?”, she shakes me hard.
“Wait! Karthik called you?”, I ask her not knowing what else to say.
“Yes, your boyfriend called me.”, she replies.
“I told you he’s not my boyfriend”, I say angrily.

Continue reading “The Sister I Never Had – Part 12”

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